Have you decided who you want to be? Help for depression

Who we are is quite different than what we do. It is often easier to decide what profession we want in our lives than HOW we will live our lives. How we lives our lives, the quality of our life may have little to do with what we do for a living. It doesn't matter what you do for a living if you enter each day without compassion and kindness for both yourself as well as others. Think about every person you may come into contact with throughout the day. Are they kind to you? Are you kind to them? And if the answer is no, doesn't it color the entire interaction?
There are so many reasons why we forget about being kind and compassionate.. We are anxious, maybe afraid, we are depressed, maybe disappointed.. and we lose the essential quality that is a core part of our lives.. the ability we all have to be kind. Simple kindness can change lives, it can change our lives, it an change others' lives. Today, even if you are depressed, anxious, scared, disappointed, I invite you to experiment with kindness and compassion. I invite you to consciously acknowledge those you love with kindness, not complicated, not a long conversation, but a simple kindness...and breathe, always breathe as you open to this.

What are you waiting for? help for anxiety and depression

Did you ever notice that sometimes, even when you really want to take some action to change your life, you cannot because of depression or anxiety? And then you beat yourself up about it and it makes you feel worse. And then you get angry at yourself for beating yourself up.... and it goes on and on until you may notice you have been thinking negatively for a long time.
Well, this can happen to any of us, it is something the brain likes to do.... think over and over about the same thing. But there is a way to change this cycle.
I have spoken about the idea of AWARENESS many times in this blog because it is so important.... to become aware of this present moment-
What are we thinking about? Is it negative, are you thinking about the past with regret, are you thinking about the future with fear?
So now in this present moment, in fact each present you have an opportunity to change our thinking, to stop negative thoughts and fears.... but awareness of the present moment is fundamental to this. We can not change anything if we are not aware.
So.... experiment with this maybe today, this week, maybe this month... as you go about your day stop for a moment and start NOW to be aware of what you are thinking- you don't have to do anything else because the moment you are aware you have a real opportunity to say to yourself- "I am in the present moment and I AM OK". If you have to say it 100 times- say it. Because right now , as you read this you are in the present moment and you are OK.

Help for Anxiety

I have written about anxiety in my blogs but I feel the need to write about again given all the uncertainties in our lives right now. I will start with asking you to focus on this present moment and stay with this moment. As you notice something distracting you allow it to be, take notice but come back to this present moment. Did you know that all we really have, ever, is this present moment? Really- this is not a gimmick or wordplay but this present moment- this wonderful moment has the possibility to be a moment of aliveness and joy or it can be turned into a moment where the past or the future inserts itself.... and this present moment is now lost to something that is already past or might never be. This moment is the most important moment in the history of the world -because it is now and it is real and it has all the opportunities of your life embedded in it. But you have to focus on it. Notice,in this present moment, the air around you, the sounds, the smells, ,nature, maybe your dog barking and embrace the aliveness of this. and be kind to yourself- be kind in this moment and breathe a deeply alive breath, again, you are here now and you are OK - this is the reality of your life. Be present and you will be OK.

help for anxiety- when nothing is certain

All we have to do is look at the weather to verify nothing is certain! This weather can be looked at as a metaphor for our lives. We think that if we make plans and attempt to control every element of these plans that we can actually control what happens in our lives. Well, life is more complex than that! Angeles Arrien, a wonderful cultural anthropologist talks about the importance to being "open to outcome, not attached to outcome". How hard this is for most of us. For those of you with high anxieties about the future, fears about not being able to control the future- you have an opportunity to think about your goals differently... It is all about HOW YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS. You can gain some control over changing your thoughts but it takes lots of practice.
If you develop the mantra-" I am open to outcome- not attached to outcome" you can let go of the tight, constricting hold you have on how you want your future to look.
You have an opportunity right in this moment to say this to yourself. Wow! what a relief not to feel you have to control everything(and everyone). Take a deep breathe and breathe out slowly. You have the time now to do this.

Help for anxiety

Many people come to see me because of severe anxiety. Anxiety is such a physical experience. Your body may feel tense, your breathing may be shallow, you may be jittery, you may not be able to sit down. Along with these body sensations, your thoughts may be of fears especially about the future. These are common symptoms. This is why many people seek out a therapist who can assist them with decreasing or eliminating these fears and uncomfortable body sensations.

Interesting enough the body sensations and the thoughts and fears become a feedback loop- one feeds off the other- You think fearful thoughts- your body becomes tense and your breathing is shallow and then you think more fearful thoughts!
The first think you want to do is BECOME AWARE OF THIS FEEDBACK LOOP. The next step is starting to work on BREAKING IT! You can start by breathing deeper into your belly, slowing down your breath. You can also learn to relax your body through different relaxation exercises. The important thing to remember is that you CAN feel better. I know you can. You need to know you can.

effective help for anxiety

Anxiety can lead you to go down the road of catastrophic future thinking- afraid this is going to happen, that will happen. WE all can find ourselves down that road- I call it the "negative thought cycle" or "thought bubble" that feels like it is in control of our thoughts! You probably know what I mean.
Now think about this.. Every time you find yourself in your negative thought cycle say to yourself,
"Come back to the present,
Come back to the present,
Come back to the present."
It is only in the present where you can think more clearly.
Come into the present and start observing what is around you. Look out of a window and observe a tree, maybe see or hear the song or a bird... stay with that, in the present moment and you can pull yourself out of negative thought cycles.
It works, I assure you. If you are in my part of town and really want training in this powerful technique call me and I know I can help you feel in control of your life!

Time to renew your commitment to life without worry and depression

The beginning year is always a good time to renew your commitment to life. This past year has been hard for so many people and the stress has gone through the roof! But you are still here and every day is a new opportunity to say to yourself that you are ok and that you will slow down and be present every day.
When you worry about the future you are unable to be in the present. Worrying can cause so much stress and many people can feel depressed because they cannot stop worrying. If you say to yourself, "Come back to the present" when you find yourself worrying about the future, you can start to be more present.
I encourage you to try this, experiment CHANGING THE CONVERSATIONS YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF. This is most important. When you find yourself in the vicious cycle of continued worry try saying this simple phrase over and over. It can reboot your thinking. It really does work!