it is the best of times and the worst of times-help for depression

This holiday season is the best of times for many people, bringing together friends and family to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. There is good food, good conversation and lots of love.... but this season may also be the worst of times for those who are not able to celebrate with their friends or family because of losses or estrangements. Holidays frequently being out the best and the worst of people. Maybe your family gets together and old wounds are opened, maybe you did not have the money for the gifts you wanted to give, Maybe there is an empty seat at your table from a loss.
What can you do about all these things? How can you cope then there is loss or disappointment?
Lets start with the gifts.....The people who love you don't care about the price of the gift they are receiving.... are you kind? are you loving? These qualities are worth much more than any gift.
Is there an empty seat at your table this holiday season? Honor that person today with your loving thoughts, maybe light a candle for them. They are always with you in your heart.
Maybe you don't celebrate the holidays... do your friends? The most giving thing you can do is allow them their holiday and take these days for self reflection...maybe a hike if you can... Are you alone during the holidays? Ask a friend if you can share the holiday with them... its OK to ask... But most important.. if you are feeling down, sad, depressed... reach out... always reach out and breathe the deep, deep breath of this glorious life.

help for depression-knowing who to trust

Sometimes we make mistakes in knowing who to trust. Sometimes a person who we thought we could trust makes a mistake in judgement and we lose our faith in them. Did this ever happen to you? Many people in my practice come to me because they feel they cannot trust anyone. They have GLOBALISED their feelings of mistrust to everyone around them. This can be quite distressing and can lead to a sense of alienation and and even depression.

The truth is that we all are human and at one time or another we disappoint someone or someone disappoints us. Does that mean we lose all trust in humanity?

Giving a person a second chance can be a compassionate thing to be for both you and the other person. Once we truly recognize we are all flawed and we are STILL OK we can begin to forgive the other person and forgive ourselves. and as we do this we can take a deep slow breath, close our eyes and feel just a bit lighter, with the load of the disappointment off our shoulders. Try this next time you get disappointed with someone and tell me you how this worked

depression help- ask for what you need!

How many times have you wanted to pick up the phone to talk to a loved one but you "didn't want to bother them". I have heard many clients say this to me over the years. How many times have you consistently not gotten what you want from a relationship? This is a common theme for many people as well. When I ask someone if they have directly asked for what they want in a relationship, they will say NO! It is not surprising that they are not getting what they want. The truth is that even if someone tells you they are psychic they don't know what you need- you have the obligation to share this information with them.
What often happens is that someone does not get what they need because they never told the person what those needs are and then - they are angry at them. It is a vicious cycle but you have the power to end it. All you have to do is be honest with someone, in a loving and compassionate way. They will thank you for doing this. And if they don't... well this is a risk and our lives are full of emotional risks... at least we asked. Try this and tell me if it works.

sometimes we can't see what is right in front of us-help for depression

I opened my frig the other day for some creamer for my morning coffee. I looked through the frig and it was nowhere to be found. I thought I had bought some but, well, maybe I forgot. Well... later on in the day, after I had bought some I opened my frig and there it was, the creamer, right in front of me. I laughed at myself at another example of how we sometimes don't see what is right in front of us!
Then..... I started thinking about this happens so often in our lives. My clients often tell me stories that I replay for them, often reframing what they said in a different vantage point. It is often during the reframing their eyes open and they say, "WOW- I never looked at it like that". Sometimes it takes another person to help us see things more clearly. Sometimes the truth is SO in front of us we are blind to it.... maybe we are so used to NOT seeing the truth, not seeing reality as it is.
Sometimes we are afraid to see the truth so even if it right in front of us we can't see it. But.... if we don't see what is really going on- You Can Never Move Forward and Heal.....Please don't be afraid to ask for help to clarify what is really going on.