This morning, early , I thought I heard the faint sound of my cell ringing in the other room, I was half awake and at 6:30 in the morning I know what it was going to be about. my mom...I laid in bed for a long while , until I saw some light come through my window. I needed all the sleep I could since I know that once I took the voicemail it would be the end of the calm of the night.
I finally got up and it was my mom's doctor telling me that they,at the geriatric facility when she lives in NY, had decided my mom needed to be hospitalized due to ongoing complications of diabetes. She just turned 83.
I spoke at length with with Dr who gave me her time and was kind. That is so important. I got to talk to my mom and she knew she was on the way to the hospital. Her voice was weak, not the strong voice of her youth, with her easy laughter.... she was vulnerable and afraid.
I was able to talk to her in the ER and she seemed ok there but it took me so long to get through to them. Frustrating for me. Throughout the day my key thoughts are twofold- self care so I can go on and thoughts of my mom- hard to balance those two. but both so important.
