Do you believe you deserve to be loved? help for depression

A few years ago a client walked into my office and said to me, "I was thinking today about how I really deserved to be loved". What a wonderful, positive thought. And of course it was true. But how many times have you thought negative thoughts like, "I am alone", No one loves me" "I don't deserve to be loved". These are common thoughts when one is depressed and feeling isolated. Negative thoughts take a life of their own and pretty soon you may be thinking the same negative thoughts over and over. These thoughts can cause further depression because what we think about affects how we see ourselves!.
So when my client walked into my office and said that they were thinking about how they deserved to be loved they were actually changing the way they thought about themselves.
Most people seek counseling because they don't feel good about themselves and they want to feel better. Thinking positively can help change the way you think about yourself. It is a powerful tool for change but it is not easy. You must be mindful when you are thinking negatively so you can change the negative thought to a positive thought. You deserve to be loved, you can be sure of that.

understanding the brain-help for depression

If you were able to look into your brain in the midst of depression or anxiety you would be able to actually see that your brain is not working optimally. The part of your brain that gives you perspective is not working correctly. You would be able to SEE why you are thinking the way you are thinking. When you are depressed, everything looks bleak. And when you think negatively a cycle is created that makes you think more negatively. And the cycle of negative thinking takes over. It is in control of you! How often have you thought, "I just can't control my negative thoughts". Well this is a common problem! The first, more important thing to do is to BECOME AWARE that you are having negative thoughts. It is amazing how often one can be in a very negative thought cycle and not even realize it!.
So being aware is the first step in changing your thoughts. And this is what you have to do and you CAN do- change your negative thinking. Becoming aware is the first step in a process of change. But I can assure you that you CAN change your negative thinking. And when you change your negative thinking your brain changes. You can have hope.

help for depression-acknowledge others

Have you ever thought about a thoughtful kind thing that some has done for you or a thoughtful thing someone has said to you and wondered," Maybe I should tell them" ... and you never get around to it? All you would have to do is pick up the phone, text this person or e-mail them and say "thanks" I am not talking about thanking someone for a big act but rather for something small, something that was said or done that was generous, kind, caring. Do you sometimes not even appreciate those small things?
These small moments are so important to appreciate and acknowledge. Especially if you are depressed or anxious you may forget, but the interesting thing about acknowledgment is that it can actually make you feel better. And since feeling acknowledged is a key part of feeling "seen" it will certainly feel good to the person you are acknowledging. I invite you try start.. you may never stop.

help for depression-understanding limits

Sometimes clients come to see me because they feel so overwhelmed in their lives. They are working full time, they have children they are caring for, more and more they are caring for their aging parents-They are very stressed but they don't even know where to begin. Something I learned a long time ago is that you cannot do everything and being everything to everyone.
What are your limits? Have you ever thought about that? Have you been taught that pushing yourself is a good thing? Well, maybe pushing oneself is a good thing because when we push ourselves we are challenging ourselves to do better and we can learn and grow and improve by this. Pushing oneself becomes a problem when you don't know when to stop, when you have spent so much time saying yes to everything and everyone that you don't know how to say No and you are afraid to say no because you don't want to disappoint anyone.
Learning to respect and understand your limits then becomes very important. Understanding that pushing yourself is positive but accepting your limits is even more important. When I say ACCEPTING your limits I do mean ACCEPTING because having limits that you are regretting or feeling bad or guilty about is just as stressful and unhealthy as not setting limits at all.
Part of being able to set and accept limits and about ACCEPTING YOURSELF as you are. Doing more more more is not better. You are OK the way you are.
Listen to your body- the stress of doing more and more weighs heavily on bodies literally-Do you eat more when you are stressed? Do you exercise? Do you take time to relax? Do you feel you DESERVE time to yourself? When you ACCEPT your limits this means you are stopping to take a breath and look around at this precious life. Once you stop, take a breathe, take one thing at a time the grip of "overwhelmness" has on you will loosen and you can begin to feel more in control of your life.

help for depression

Some people begin psychotherapy with the hope of becoming happy. But happiness can not be forced. Happiness is the result of changes one can make in one's life. What are important elements of change? Being in the present is most important. Being clear that the past cannot be changed and worrying about the future is a waste of precious time and energy can help you be in the present. Appreciating this present moment.... This is a good beginning... And looking at your life the way it truly is- not the way you yearn for it to be, are afraid that it is or wish it could be. How can you do this? Start by considering that the story you have about your life, that you tell yourself and others- MAY NOT BE TRUE!. Most of us think we are WHAT YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER TOLD YOU. Just because they said it doesn't make it true. You get to write your own story about who you are!
When you understand that the WAY YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS impacts how you feel and you have the power to change the way you thing about yourself, others and your relationships. This is very powerful in helping you change the way you feel.
When you can be present, write your own true story of who you are and understand that you have the power to change your thoughts....happiness can follow because you have made room for it- It is waiting for you.